dead_junebugs

"Your heart will no longer be wearied because he will turn it into ice. An indestructible being composed of pure mind. Without love, without mercy, without pity."

_____

When Noé gazed out the window, he was greeted by a gentle summer day. The light shined down upon the whitewashed walls of the city, and a cool breeze wound its way through the alleys. The cobblestone streets were full of strolling townspeople out to enjoy the good weather. The morning was young and it was still cool outside. Noé thought it was the perfect day to go out into the town and do nothing.

Standing in front of the mirror hanging on the bedroom wall, he tied the black ribbon into a bow around his collar. He considered the past few days: the burial urns had been transported by hired men in the employ of the University. Vanitas had been glad to be rid of them and welcomed the Archeology department’s interest in acquiring them, so that simplified matters. Soon, Noé would have to follow the urns back south, to return to his studies. However, he lingered. He didn’t want to return empty handed when he still knew nothing about this curse placed on him.

Becoming a vampire was a new problem for him. And so he wanted to make headway on the problem that was himself. But Noé only knew archeology; he didn’t know where to even start. He knew that modern science couldn’t help him, because science did not take into account anything resembling what had occurred with him. And the occult? He couldn’t distinguish between fortune-tellers in the street for real knowledge of the supernatural. He didn’t even know the supernatural existed until it imposed itself on him. He couldn’t trust himself to distinguish between real knowledge of the occult and mere superstition. Noé sighed, brushing off bits of dust and string from the front of his white coat.

Well, there was one person who had answers that he knew he could trust. The reason he has not left yet. Vanitas remained his only hope.

Donning his hat, he strolled out the door and down the stairs. Waving goodbye to the man at the front counter, he entered the street. He took a glance at the lamp-lined pathways and considered his next move. Alone and having the whole day to himself, he thought it would be a fine thing to go to the market in the town square. The bustling streets had a pleasantly appealing atmosphere. And Noé was glad for this reprieve from his work, all things considered. Lately he hadn’t been doing much field work, instead being buried in the library. However, seeing the world was something he desired for a long time, ever since childhood. When he became an archaeologist, he was glad for these opportunities to visit new places. At least, that was the case ordinarily.

Would I have answers by the time I returned to Paris? Noé wondered. He didn’t think it was likely. Melancholy began to creep back into his thoughts. He shook his head, trying to put it out of his mind. He wouldn’t let that bother him right now.

After several streets lined with high walls with narrow windows, he at last found what he was looking for. The town square, a paved expanse enclosed by the surrounding city and ordinarily empty, was now a weekend market. It was bustling with activity already and Noé was amazed at the variety and quantity of produce and wares filling the crates in the stands. It was laid out like a grid, composed of blocks of market stalls crisscrossed with paths. Each stall had a striped canopy of every combination of colors, and underneath them the crowd undulated throughout the square, coming and going, standing around and chatting on the flagstones. It was quite the contrast from when Noé first arrived a few days prior.

While watching the flowing energy before him, Noé had a realization that came upon his mind like a thought coming up for air. It dawned on him that no matter what he did, the reality of his transformation would be inescapable. His senses had changed. Because his hearing had improved considerably, the voices of the crowd were no longer an indistinct mass of sound. Rather, the overlapping conversations were layered like strata. He could pick apart any voice and identify its speaker. Similarly he found his sense of smell allowed him to pick out the varieties of vegetables on display, on the subtle scents that people carried on them, and his eyes could pick apart details far beyond what he was originally capable of. He had been wholly changed, and that fact would be proved anew each day.

Haunted by this thought, Noé kept walking. He entered the market and picked a path that would take him toward the center. While glancing at the produce and crafts being sold around him, he idly wondered if he could at least put his new powers to use. Could he smell the relics under the earth? Pick up the presence of decayed corpses from hundreds of years ago, perhaps? That would make up for the trouble a little, he imagined…

Noé was finding the crowd unmanageable. A new plan: he would find the edge so he’d have more space, and not be crammed up among so many people. Somehow it was making him uneasy. He was not yet used to his increased awareness and wanted some breathing room from these overwhelming sensations. After he changed directions, he managed to get to the edge of the square and found an almost empty path, between the market stalls and the walls of buildings.

How long will it take before I can feel normal again? Noé thought. He wasn’t sure. This was all so new, and perhaps it was simply a matter of getting used to. While pondering this question, the sight of pink hair caught his eye. It pulled him out of his thoughts. He saw just ahead of him a beautiful woman with determined yellow eyes, dressed plainly. She could not be said to appear extraordinary, despite her beauty and the quiet strength in her expression. But Noé knew, without knowing why, that she was a vampire. Sure as anything.

He froze from the realization. A vampire in the market square? Shaking himself out of the trance, he hurried over to her, hoping to not lose her in the crowd. He wanted to talk to her, to find out how long she had been a vampire. Does she know anything? Is there anything she wants to know? He knew that Vanitas was a remote figure in these parts, that it wasn’t likely she had ever met the alchemist. So there’d be no way of her knowing that there was someone who could help the both of them…

He gained on her. There were few people around, and the shadow cast by the walls made the market edge dark and cold. He called out.

“Mademoiselle!”

The woman stopped with a start. Slowly, she turned around to look at him. She had an expression of confusion

Noé felt awkward, standing there silently in front of her. He had no plan for what he would say before he spoke to her. Now, he had to say something to break this awkward silence. But what? That he thought she was a vampire?

She continued to gaze at him with her level, golden eyes, albeit still perplexed. She broke the silence first.

“Did you need to ask me something…?”

Noé’s hands had found the edge of his coat, unconsciously gripping it. There was nothing to do about it, was there? His eyes, which had been scanning the ground in discomfort, came up to meet hers. He asked the question outright.

“Are you a vampire?”

She was quiet for a moment. The question hung in the air and Noé’s anxiety grew. She looked down as if in thought. Suddenly, she looked back up at him.

“How did you know?”

***

As luck would have it, they found a suitable table at the cafe. It was pleasantly shaded in the corner of the patio, with a view of the crowds. And more importantly, the surrounding tables were empty. It was a guarantee that there would be no unwanted listeners. When they took their seats, the weather had warmed enough for Noé to remove his coat and lay it upon the back of his chair. He was hungry, so he ordered tarte tatin to go with his coffee. The apples had been beautiful in the market and he couldn’t resist the idea of eating some of them. And seeing what he was up to, Jeanne thought that was a fine plan and got the same. They took a moment just to enjoy the afternoon, watching the people pass by while they ate their pastries. They sat together as strangers watching the world around them pass by. A world remote and picturesque.

A breeze threaded through the old worn tables, causing Jeanne’s pink hair to sway slightly. She took a sip of her coffee.

“It happened the morning after a dream I had,” she said.

Noé was still watching the crowd when she spoke. With fork still in his mouth, he looked back at her.

“I was in this black void, and in it was a strange man with the head of a ram’s skull,” she said, with a faraway look in her eyes. “He said that it was time for me to wake up. I didn’t know what he meant. I asked him who he was. But without speaking, he reached over with his hand and covered my eyes. When he pulled that hand away, I could see a red moon in the sky. When I woke up from that dream, I saw that I had fangs and red eyes.”

Her hands had settled on her cup and her fingers were tracing its lip. She was watching its dark surface, her eyes growing cold.

She returned her gaze to him. “Was it the same for you?”

Noé was watching her, and without him realizing it, a shadow of pain crossed his face. He answered quietly. “It was.”

A moment passed with neither of them speaking. The silence was filled by the noise of the square. They both looked back toward the crowd again, watching the ordinary people. The throng lived lives untouched by vampires.

Jeanne broke the silence again, without taking her eyes off the crowd. “I’m a mountain guide in this village. I help travelers cross the mountains. Sometimes, outsiders find it strange that a woman has this work, but I have never gotten anyone lost, so they always forgave the oddness. This has been my job for years now. When I had that dream, I was glad in the following days that my red eyes and fangs were nowhere to be found. I tried to act like nothing had changed. But I couldn’t escape the fact that things were different now. My awareness of the forest was far beyond anything I was capable of before. I noticed that I barely got tired anymore. Before, the animals would notice my presence before I could see them. Then that reversed entirely.”

She smiled recalling her memories.

“It’s funny, you know. This all worked to my benefit. I couldn’t have asked for a better gift as a guide. Once, when I was in the mountains I found a doe in the woods. It was nibbling on ferns and hadn’t noticed me yet. So, on a whim, I wanted to find out where it lived. I stepped so quietly that it never knew I was there. I followed it down a winding trail on the mountain. It took me to a wonderful clearing I never knew existed, a place where the sun shined on the wildflowers.”

Recounting that adventure brought a sparkle to her eyes, but her memories took a darker turn. A touch of sadness came upon her smile.

“But it was only a matter of time,” she said softly. “The fangs and red eyes came back. Even after all the good fortune I had from this, I couldn’t escape that reminder. That I’m a monster now.”

She laughed. “Honestly, Monsieur Noé, I’m glad you figured out my secret. I was beginning to wonder what was wrong with the world, that nobody could notice the change that had come over me. Others just said I had gotten a feel for the mountains, or that my luck had gotten good in the past few months. But…I’m glad it turned out that I’m not the only one.”

Noé smiled too, considering that maybe she had the right attitude about it. “It’s fine to call me Noé. Somehow I don’t feel like worrying about formalities.”

“Then call me Jeanne,” she said, the brightness of her smile returning.

Noé rested his chin in his palm, leaning over the table while lost in thought. He finally spoke.

“There’s someone I know who can help you. I would very much like to introduce you to him. He knows all about our condition.”

“All right.” She drained her cup of coffee, set it down, and stood up. “Let’s go to see him then.”

***

Once again, Noé knocked on the heavy door at the entrance of Vanitas’s tower. It swung open to reveal the alchemist in his usual attire. Vanitas took in the sight of the pair of them, becoming completely still. He inclined his head toward the archaeologist.

“Noé.”

He pointed a glance at Jeanne and then back to the archeologist.

“You didn’t waste any time once you came to this town, did you?”

Noé was instantly irked.

“What are you insinuat—?”

“Mademoiselle,” Vanitas said over Noé. “I am Vanitas. I am the owner of this tower and an alchemist. To whom do I have the pleasure?”

“My name is Jeanne,” she replied, with a blank expression. Her face slightly softened, and then said, “…just Jeanne.”

“I’m glad to meet you, Jeanne.” He inclined his head, his azure gaze steady and in that moment, gemlike.

He waved his hand toward the interior of the tower.

“Both of you, come inside. I suspect I know what you are here about, knowing our dear Noé.” With pure casualness, he turned and walked back into the hall.

Jeanne hesitated at first, but then followed him. Noé rubbed his face in exasperation. Who on earth says things like that? Dropping his hand, he followed after the pair.

They gathered in the center of the room. Jeanne was awestruck, which Noé understood all too well. It was a beautiful place, if in a kind of musty and ancient way. In the walls lived secrets. The light shining down on them from the colored glass above was as if refracted, like white light broken into its constituent colors, revealing sides of it which is ordinarily hidden away. Time itself seemed to stop, and one could be among the books and scrolls and take oneself back to the eras of their authors. Noé thought this tower was enchanting. It spoke to the part of him that drew him to archeology, a yearning for mystery.

Vanitas, for his part, took the ancient tower for granted. And how could Noé blame him? What this chamber meant to the archaeologist was much different from what it would have to mean to the alchemist. Noé still didn’t know anything about how Vanitas became an alchemist in the first place. He considered asking him, later, when he had the chance.

Vanitas gathered scrolls and herbs off the table at the center, and briskly carried them off to dump somewhere else. Jeanne chose to sit down in an old stuffed chair near it and Noé followed suit. Vanitas returned to join them.

He sat down on the edge of a cushioned chair and rested his chin on his folded hands. Black hair covered one eye, the other focused on the newcomer.

“Mademoiselle Jeanne,” he said. “You are here because you are a vampire, are you not?”

Jeanne glanced down to the floor. Quietly, she answered.

“…yes.”

“Did you see the Ram? Did he come to you in your dreams?”

She raised her head and replied with more determination.

“Yes. I did.”

“And after this dream, did you find yourself with sharper sight and hearing, and a preternatural sense of your surroundings? Did you look in the mirror and see red eyes and fangs?”

“It is exactly as you’ve said,” said Jeanne. By this point, Jeanne’s previous detachment had faded away. In its place was a hopeful curiosity.

“Well that settles it then,” said Vanitas, glancing at Noé. He looked back at Jeanne. “You’re timing is perfect. It’s good that both of you are here. I have things to tell you about your condition that you need to hear.”

Vanitas leaned back in thought, tapping a fingernail on the carved wooden armrest.

“When you first told me about your dream, Noé, something about your description of The Ram tugged at my memories. I have an old book here that tells of the existence of a being with a goat’s head who is aligned with the Crimson Moon. He is immortal and elusive. He is generally not dangerous, but what he lacks in power he makes up for with a burning, passionate will. He has plans, and dreams of enacting them.”

Vanitas raised his left arm as if beseeching the heavens. The hourglass shined.

“The Ram wants to create his ideal city. For that city, he wants his ideal citizens. Unable to create beings to follow him, he instead calls on individuals in the world. Those with a will he bestows the gifts he has, and these gifts change their natures. They becomes fanged creatures that thirst for blood, and yet have not lost their minds. But for him, he has no use for human sentiment. Those who join his city will soon lose their human hearts.”

“You see,” said Vanitas as he looked on the two, resting his head against his fist. “He doesn’t respect sentiments. He would prefer men and women of diamond, who could see clearly the way he can without distractions. Funny how his gift arouses such passionate feelings in those who get it. But it’s only by entering The Ram’s city where one is made to choose.”

“The city is the only place that can make vampires into the kinds beings the Ram truly wants. There before the stone gates of his realm, the vampire makes a choice. Serve the Ram as his loyal subject and you will be free of all sentiments. And by this you will be liberated from all pain. Anxiety, fear, dissatisfaction, sorrow, hopelessness, and despair will never harm you. Your heart will no longer be wearied because he will turn it into ice. An indestructible being composed of pure mind. Without love, without mercy, without pity.”

“He wants to guide all his creations to the city, but only the ones of whom he is sure of their loyalty. He doesn’t want any trouble, you see. He knows that in this ignorant age there are still students of the occult who could thwart his power, great as it is. Someone might come to his domain and put a stick in his throat, have him choke on it, just utterly derail his plans. Like break the connection between the celestial and the earthly, keep him from drawing on the power of the Red Moon down here among the mortals. He won’t be able to make any more vampires after that.”

“Wait,” Noé broke in, raising his hand as he spoke. “Are you saying you can stop the Ram from creating more vampires?”

“That,” said Vanitas with a glittering grin. “Is exactly what I’m saying.”

“Now that I know who is creating these vampires, I know now that I have the power to take that ability away. He’s built a connection between the Red Moon and our world, and that connection can be destroyed. I doubt he has the means to come back from that easily. From what is told about him, he’d probably leave our world to lick his wounds out of impugned pride.”

“The remaining question is where the gate to this city is located. I do not have the answer to that yet, I’m afraid. There just hasn’t been enough time since Noé told me about his condition.”

“Well,” Vanitas broke out suddenly in a matter-of-fact tone. “That’s what I know so far. I’ll need to continue my research.”

“So this is the person who is meddling in our lives,” said Noé, scowling. “I won’t let him do what he wants with me. I have no interest in this city of his.”

“Haha, that’s the spirit,” Vanitas said lightly, casually resting the sole of his boot against the low table between the three.

“From what you are saying, Vanitas,” said Jeanne. “It sounds like we are not the only ones.”

“That’s right. There are likely others who are afflicted, or gifted, however you wish to see it. I anticipate you will all be able to recognize your changes in each other, when you meet out in the world. Just like how it was with you and Noé today.”

“I will have to leave soon, Vanitas.” Said Noé. “In a few days, I have to go back to Paris. This Ram person may be running amok, but perhaps I can aide your research. Surely the library will have relevant information. I’d like to keep in touch.”

“I like this plan,” the alchemist replied. “I don’t fancy dealing with this treasure hunt with only the tools I have here…”

After a little while, the three gathered outside in the evening light.

“I’m not sure how much I can help with this,” said Jeanne.

“Actually,” Vanitas said, while leaning against the door, “Your expertise will likely be needed in the near future. You may need to guide us to the city.”

“Let’s all stay in touch then,” said Noé. “And plan.”

The three of them agreed to this idea. The two vampires exchanged addresses at which they could be reached, with each other and with the alchemist. Noé took his leave, but Jeanne lingered. The dying sunlight was golden.

Vanitas, leaning against the heavy tower door, considered Jeanne.

“What can I do for you, mademoiselle Jeanne?”

“Jeanne is fine,” She said. “I wanted to ask you something else.”

He shifted his weight off the door and walked toward her.

Slipping his hands into his robe’s pockets, he asked, “what would you like to know?”

“This Ram, he is truly changing people against their will, to live in this city of his?”

“That’s right,” he smiled. Enigmatic, to Jeanne’s eyes.

Her gaze became steely. “He has no right to do what he has done. I won’t let him get away with it.”

A look of surprise came across Vanitas. He wasn’t expecting her vehemence.

“Jeanne,” he started carefully. “Have you drunk anyone’s blood?”

“No.” Jeanne crossed her arms and idly looked at the shadowy woods around them. “I didn’t want to accept that I’d changed. My life was going well enough, and then this had to happen. And with the way I am now…”

She shook her head. “I don’t want to be a danger to anyone. Even if I’m stuck like this.”

Vanitas absorbed the words he had just heard. He looked pensive.

“Jeanne, regardless of the reason you became a vampire, I don’t believe you should see it this way. If you deny yourself like this, you’ll only understand yourself less. The truth is that you are no longer what you once were.”

She finally looked at his face after hearing his words. Jeanne seemed to understand what he was saying, but hesitation remained in her eyes. He gently made his way by her side.

“Were you not happy, when you were recognized by Noé?”

Jeanne’s face revealed the strain she had been feeling, living with her secret. “I was,” she admitted.

Vanitas casually tugged at his collar. “Why not just face this part of yourself now? It’s a long journey before we arrive at the city.”

Jeanne got closer to Vanitas. She took a good look at his face. His enigmatic smile disappeared. In it’s place he looked sincere.

“Thinking back on it, you’re not too different from Noé when he came to me,” he said, letting a finger linger at his collar, distracted by reminiscing. “He was all eaten up by this vampire business. It was really getting to him, although I will say you seem to be coping with it better overa—AAHG”

Suddenly, Jeanne had slipped one hand around his cravat and the other on his shoulder to pull him toward her, sinking her fangs into his neck. She did this so quickly it caught him by surprise, with him only managing to clutch the back of her head, his other arm wrapping around her back. Since he was taller than her he was forced to lean over. Unlike with Noé, he had no time to look her over while in the act, and could only hold on.

Moments passed and she released her fangs from his neck.

She pushed him away slightly and looked up at his face. Blood dripped from a corner of her mouth while she gazed at his face with a slightly perplexed expression. Vanitas did not look away, but he was completely abashed.

“I-I didn’t expect you to do that so quickly…” he babbled.

“But you said to do it!” Embarrassment washed over Jeanne as she was thinking she misread his intentions. She looked over their posture. She was still holding this man she just met in a somewhat intimate embrace.

She quickly released him and took a step back.

“I just…” Jeanne trailed off. She was back to looking at the forest, holding her left arm. “I just wanted to follow your advice…”

“Pffft, ahahaha.”

She whipped her head back to Vanitas as he broke into a laugh, still blushing but with a deeply amused glee breaking through.

“Ahahaha, Jeanne! That’s marvelous. You look so gloomy but that’s not it at all, is it? You’re not one to mope. The haze gets broken by the sunshine in the end!” Vanitas was poorly hiding his smile with his hand as he said this.

“Now I don’t know what you’re saying, stop talking in riddles.”

“I’m saying you’re an interesting person, Jeanne,” he said through his chuckles. “I’m very happy I’ve gotten to meet you.”

“Well, that’s good…” She said in a daze, not expecting such a bright and human smile to come from the alchemist. “I’m glad you’re not disappointed.”

“I hope you’re not disappointed either.” He said, a quality of that enigmatic smile creeping in again.

It took Jeanne a moment before she realize what he meant. It was her turn to blush when she did.